My Only Sunshine
by peacegirl597
Summary: Amy and Ricky Finally understand Ben and Adrian's pain. They've lost their newborn daughter just like Ben and Adrian. Now the four might actually become true friends through the loss of Mia and Mercy. Ramy! SAD you've been warned...
1. Chapter 1 The Incident

_**Amy**_

"Ricky." I whispered into the darkness, trying to wake him. We were currently on our sofa-bed, it was only three am, and it was time.

"Ricky?" I tried again.

"Amy?" came his sleepy response. He yawned, and muttered something to himself about being woken up again by his very pregnant fiancé because of midnight cravings. I rolled my eyes.

"What can I get for you? Do you need me to run to the store?" As he became slightly more coherent, he became more anxious to why exactly I might wake him up so early.

"It's time." I whispered, and his eyed widened.

"Now?"

"Now." I clarified. He pulled out his phone to call my parents, to pick John up.

My parents where there in record time along with Nora, and, to my surprise, Bunny. We thanked them quickly and rushed to the car. Ricky drove at least fifteen miles over the speed limit. We arrived at the hospital, pre-packed bags in hand, ready for the birth of our second child. We were still very young… well, maybe a little younger than 'very young'. I was currently nineteen and Ricky just celebrated his twentieth, but financially, we could afford another child and Ricky was going into his third year of college next year. I would study at home for the first couple of months and then possibly join him on the educational path and leave Mia, our soon-to-be new family member, with Ricky while I went to night school. It meant less alone time with Ricky, but with a newborn there really isn't any allowance of alone time anyways, no matter how you approached it.

I was hustled into my room, and was ordered a place on the hospital bed, awaiting the contractions that, I knew from experience, would be quite painful. Ricky held my hand, soothing careful words into my ear. It was a much better labor with him around. John's had been spent with my mother holding my hand, because Ricky and I hadn't been together. I knew the family wanted to be here, but we needed them with John.

The contractions became closer and closer together, leaving me little time to recover before the next wave of pain came. It would be worth it though… The doctor gave a small gasp and shot a strange look at my fiancé.

"Richard? May I speak with you?" She motioned to him. I stared up at him for a moment and he looked down at me for approval. I nodded my head, wondering why they would have to speak privately right in the middle of my going into labor.

The assistant nurse took the seat where the doctor had just been. She gave a sad, sympathetic look in her eyes and I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach… Something was deeply wrong, I just didn't know what.

_**Ricky**_

As the doctor led me outside of the room, I just knew something was wrong. The doctor sighed gruffly and looked down as if she couldn't tell whatever she was about to say to my face. I began getting suspicious and eyed her worriedly.

"Everything's okay… right?" I asked, concerned now. She sighed again.

"No, Ricky, I'm afraid everything is not okay." I felt a choking sensation and, for a moment, I couldn't even breathe. I took in a shaky gulp of air and asked the question that I didn't really want an answer to.

"Well, what's wrong then?" I asked almost harshly

"There have been some… complications."

"What kind of 'complications' do you mean, exactly?" I snapped. She didn't answer, just looked down again.

"I asked a question, dammit! What kinds of complications?" I whipped out.

"Something went wrong. We don't know! The tests came up clear but…"

"But what?" I growled, this had to be some kind of a sick joke.

"She can't breathe." The doctor whispered "The umbilical cord is strangling her to… to death." Her last word broke

"No." I whispered, I was numb, my beautiful daughter. Gone. It wasn't possible, it couldn't be, this stuff only happened in movies! And Amy… oh my god, Amy. She would never be able to survive this.

"But… We can save her?" I asked with a shred of hope, though I knew the answer, and it wasn't a yes.

"I'm sorry, Ricky. There's just no way. We would perform a much more complicated procedure, that may help the chances of a miracle, but the chances of the baby surviving woud be a one in ten chance. And Amy… She would be in a lot of physical pain. At Amy's young age, it would be much too dangerous to perform, and Amy could…" The doctor couldn't finish her sentence, but I knew the ending word. She was going to say _"Amy could die." _Die. I think the doctor was still speaking to me, her mouth was moving, but I heard nothing. Not the words doctor spoke, or the loud, beeping monitors. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts. It was all just a buzzing in the background. I could only hear one thing.

_Amy could die._

_Amy could die. _

_Amy could die._

_Die._

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the wetness slide down my cheeks and my vision blur with tears.

"Why? What did we do wrong?" I asked the doctor, I had to know. Did Amy bump into something that hurt her? Was is something she ate? A virus she caught?

"Nothing, Ricky… Nothing you could've done would do this. It all just happened at the wrong time. The baby shifted and the cord wrapped around her ne-"

"Please," I cut her off, "Don't. Don't go into details. I'm not a doctor. I'm a father, and I can't just hear that-that my daughter…" I bit my lip to keep from crying again. I looked down, in disgust.

"We have to tell Amy." I whispered.

"Yes. She should be almost finished with the… birth… we should probably go back in and… tell her. Sound okay?" She asked

"Nothing sounds _okay _to me right now." I clarified bleakly.

It was horrible. The scariest, saddest thing I'd ever seen. Amy has cried in front of me plenty of times, but never like this. She sobbed and thrashed and screamed just as Adrian had. And I cried too, just as Ben had. We finally understood their pain, their fear. We understood, but I wished we didn't.

A mixture of grief and sorrow, anger and regret ripped through me as I clutched the beautiful thrashing girl in my arms. Amy. She was more than heartbroken, she was… was… well, there are no words for it. When she calmed down enough that she could just barely talk coherently through the never-ending tears, she asked to see her. To hold Mia.

"P-please!" She had gasped "l-l-let me s-see her!" She wailed. "S-she was m-my dau-auter!"

The nurses obliged grimly. They brought a small baby into the room, and if I didn't know any better I would've thought our Mia was asleep. Unfortunately, I _did _know better and the baby was far from asleep. My fiancé kissed the baby's forehead whispering "Mia, our little Mia. We love you." This was what broke me. Actually seeing her. Seeing my baby, so lifeless. It was finally real to me. She was gone, without even a chance to live. I didn't want Amy to see me break down, but I couldn't do anything, I was helpless. I hunched over, kneeling on the ground next to the only two girls I'd ever loved. Only one of them would be coming home with me tonight.

I watched as Amy stroked our daughter's lifeless face, to my surprise, Amy began to sing. She sang in a broken voice that was thick with tears and weak with sorrow, but it was the most beautiful song I'd ever heard.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. "

Her voice broke several times and her lips trembled but it was as if she sang with the voice of an angel. I took my pale, lifeless daughter from her arms and sang along with her.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and cried."

Suddenly all of the doctors and nurses and even some nearby patients began to sing with us.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. " But when the song ended, they did take her away. They took her straight from my arms. My sunshine was gone.

We were silent, we didn't yell or scream or thrash. But we cried. It was a calmer kind of crying, but even more painful in a way that was hard to explain. I wanted to run. Just run away from this awful place. Run away from the terrible room. Away from this town, this state, this _country_. I wanted to run and never look back. But then I realized that no matter what, I had to stay, not necessarily in the room, or town or country, but with Amy. I had to stay with her because; no matter how much I hated and loved it at the same time, we were both powerless against the world without each other, and now we needed each other even more than ever.

We stayed there crying for what seemed like hours and seconds at the same time. Neither of us wanted to be the first to talk, but eventually, Amy sat up from her position and looked up at my with eyes running with mascara-stained tears.

"We have to leave." She whispered.

"I know." I responded, but there was little emotion in my voice.

"But I don't want to go home," she started "our parents will be there, and-and I can't explain what- what happened… I just can't!"

"I know." I murmured, trying to sooth her

"Ricky?" She asked hollowly

"hmm?" I was too tired and depressed to respond with anything else.

Her eyes filled with more tears

"I don't want to be like Ben and Adrian." She whispered, letting more tears fall.

"We won't be like them, I swear Amy. We had a life together outside of this baby. They didn't. They had a one-night stand, we didn't, we were engaged before the baby was conceived, and they weren't. We chose to get married because we loved each other, they got married because he got her pregnant. Just because we lost her doesn't mean we're going to end up divorced and depressed. I'm not gonna get drunk every night, I'm not gunna go around telling people I want out of our marriage. You aren't going to stuff your face every night, and become a crazy psychopath trying to get pregnant with anyone who can give you a baby. We'll be alright. I love you. You love me. That is the main thing that we have and they don't. Love. We have love, Amy."

"Leave. All of you, get out of the apartment, now. Take John with you. We- We need some… space tonight." I spoke into the receiver in my cell phone. Amy was trying to clean herself up in the bathroom before we went home

"Why? Was it another false alarm?" Anne asked

"No." was all I could manage to choke out. I heard cheering on the other line as Anne told them that Mia Eliza Underwood had been born. I almost laughed at their cluelessness. Key word: almost. Instead, anger took over. They shouldn't be celebrating. This was hell, hearing them cheer like that. It reminded me that right now, I should be telling them that they have a new granddaughter. I should be holding her. Laughing at her tiny hands. Right now those tiny hands were limp, never to move again. I threw my phone as hard as I could at the wall; it broke into pieces on the cool, tiled floor. Shattered. Broken. Smashed. Damaged. Ruined. Destroyed. It was like me.

"Ricky?" Amy came from behind me

"Oh, Amy. C'mon, let's go. "

"What happened to your phone?" She asked

"Nothing. Now, let's go. " I pressed

"you called them." It was not a question.

"I didn't tell them anything, just to leave before we got home. Did you want them to stay?" I asked, worried that she had been offended by the phone call to her parents.

"No. Thanks for doing that." She said, planting a kiss on my lips quickly. "I didn't really want them there at all."

But of course, they were.

"CONGRATS!" They yelled as we walked into the butcher shop. Everyone was there. Anne, Nora, Ben, Betty, Adrian, Grace, Jack, Tom, Even Bunny, _everyone_ so many that I couldn't name them all. Amy lost it. All of that serenity she had built up, gone. She collapsed to the floor in tears, I kneeled down and the floor to help her up, but she pushed me away whispering "I don't want to get up." through tears.

"Get out." I growled. "NOW." Everyone just stared.

"I said leave!" I yelled, coming back to my feet again. No one moved.

"Go, dammit! Leave!" Nothing. I got back down with Amy, and forced her to stand up.

"No." She objected "I want to stay down." But I was too angry to care.

"Please." I begged, not wanting to actually _force_ her up.

She quietly stood and, hand in hand, we made our way through the small crowd up to the apartment.

This was hell. She had never been so broken. The crowd downstairs had crushed her even more, had crushed us even more. I didn't know what to do; she'd locked herself in the bathroom, refusing to come out. I was sitting on the floor, back leaning on the back of the bathroom door. I begged her to come out, I was worried that she might be doing something worse than crying, like slitting her wrists or getting high off of the cleaning supplies from under the sink. I think we bot understood why Ben started drinking and doing drugs… getting high never felt like a better idea to me. I didn't sound half bad, actually, if I was happy on drugs… No.

I had to remember my father. The worthless drunken man who beat my mother every night. I had to remember my mother, the struggling alcoholic. If I turned to alcohol, I wouldn't ever be able to stop drinking. I had to remember them, they were always too high, hung-over or drunk to take care of their son. Too depressed and angry to even take care of themselves. That wouldn't be me and Amy. I would never hit her. She would never turn to drinking. John would never have a screwed up life like mine. Beaten by his criminal father, taking care of his not-so-sober mother, sleeping around to fill holes in his life, getting a girl pregnant at 15. Screwed up life. If I'd never went to band camp… My life would be worse. Yeah, having a child in high school was rough, but it fixed me. If not for my relationship with Amy, I wouldn't be this far. I'd still be at square one. But Amy… She would be better off. Living at home with little responsibilities. She would've still been the goody –goody Amy she was when I first met her. She would be the shy, happy, quiet Amy she was at fifteen.

But the real Amy… She was inside the bathroom crying her eyes out over our lost baby. The image of our still daughter flashed through my mind, and I cried too. I had to find someone to understand…

"Amy?" I asked, in a raspy voice

"What?" Her voice was thinned out with tears

"I think we should talk to them."

"Who?"

"Ben and Adrian."

_**Review, Review, Review!**_


	2. Chapter 2 So Much for Freindship

Kay, so thanks for the reviews and I know that it's been really sad so far… but it might get worse…. I don't know… If you want it to get a little darker or if you want it to be happier just review or PM me about it! Also, I like writing as Ricky a lot more than Amy so his POVs are longer… I'm super sorry about how long it's been since I updated, please don't be angry! thx now READ!

Amy

"What?" I asked, drying the tears from my eyes. He did not just say that. We couldn't talk to Ben and Adrian over something so personal! Not to mention that they're finally getting over what happened to them and they don't need a reminder from us.

"I think we should talk to them." He repeated, "They could help… they've been through this before. You said it yourself; you don't want to make the same mistakes they did. If we find out exactly what those mistakes were…" he trailed. It made sense, but I wasn't sure if I could talk about it already. It'd only been a couple of hours. Tears welled up from the memory of my little girl, but I pushed them away. I couldn't cry, not right now. I was all cried out.

"Are you sure that's the best idea?" I asked as I shakily opened the bathroom door to see my fiancé.

"The best I can think of," He said, pulling me into a loose hug.

"Fine," I huffed, giving in. Ricky kissed my forehead.

"Do you want me to get them now?" he asked, motioning to the door of our apartment. They were probably all downstairs still; I'd only been ten minutes or so since the scene in the butcher shop.

"Okay?" It sounded like a question. He smiled, but it was filled with sadness, and it was obviously forced. He was being strong. For me, no less. I hated seeing him in pain, and he knew that. He also knew that his pain would add to mine, so he put on a mask. A cover from his sadness. He looked at me with one last fake smile, and headed out the door to face the confused and upset crowd below.

Ricky

I heard the mumbles of confusion as I emerged from our apartment into the crowd of people. They looked at me with curious eyes, watching and analyzing my every move.

"I'm sorry." I started, "I'm sorry for flipping out on all of you. Seeing you all here just reminded us… Never mind." I didn't want to explain that part. I sucked in a deep breath and continued. "Something horrible happened. The baby-" My voice broke, I gulped in another breath to keep from tearing up "She's not… Coming home." I finished, hoping I wouldn't have to go into detail, hopefully, they would know what that meant and leave us alone. My hope didn't happen.

"What do you mean?" One man, Adrian's father I think, shouted above the silence of the crowd

"You know… I should probably do this with Amy… It's not right for her not to have a say in this." I said, desperately hoping that Amy would be well enough to tell everyone with me. I just couldn't say it alone. "I just came down to say that there won't be a party tonight and that you should all just go home." Sure enough, they all started to file out the door. I stood at the top of the stair case. "Except… Ben and Adrian." I announced, and the confused faces of our 'friends', I guess you could call them, appeared.

"Why?" They asked in unison as the rest of the people filtered out.

"We need to talk to you." I said in a gruff whisper as I lead them upstairs.

When we got to the apartment, Amy was sitting on the sofa-bed, once again crying. I rushed over to her and pulled her into a soft hug.

"I know, honey, I know." I crooned, kissing her forehead. "Shhh," I comforted, trying to calm her down. When she stopped crying, I didn't let go of my hold on her. I looked up at Ben and Adrian, motioning for them to come over. They silently took a seat on the mattress next to us.

"Look," Adrian said, standing up, "I don't do well with tears and so I'm just gunna lea-"

"Please." I cut her off, "Just stay." She pursed her lips, but sat back down.

Amy then spoke up, "Can I get you anything? Soda? Water?" she attempted composing herself with the ironic small-talk.

"You can get us some information," Ben nodded. Amy looked down and took in a shaky breath.

"W-what kind of in-information?" her words were choppy because of her trembling jaw due to her soon-coming tears that she was fighting back. I was the one to look down this time. My eyes were filling with tears too. I don't think I've ever shed so many tears in my life.

"I don't know how to say it." I confessed "I just can't!" I yelled this time. Ben, sensing the sorrow and anger, nodded.

"Try." He said, sympathetically

"She's dead." I whispered. it was so quiet that at first, I thought no one heard me. But Amy began to cry again, and I knew I'd been heard. Ben and Adrian just gaped as I tried to calm Amy. They knew. Them. They knew before even our parents. They weren't even our friends, but they were the only ones who could ever understand. I hated to admit it, but we needed them, and their advice. We sat in the silence, none of us daring to talk. Amy was on the verge of tears again and though the silence was never broken, a small whimper coming from my angel sent Adrian to her side. Adrian wrapped Amy in hug as she cried. Eventually, Adrian was crying with her. Ben came over to me, cautiously.

"Can I speak with you outside?" Ben asked. I nodded, unsure of anything right about now. I took a deep breath. Don't cry, don't yell, and don't punch the wall. Don't cry, don't yell, and don't punch the wall. Don't cry, don't yell, and don't punch the wall. I reminded myself over and over again as I followed him out to the hall. I had to stay strong for Amy. But when I got outside- I realized I was weaker than I thought. It was hard, now that the only reason for my strength was out of sight.

"I couldn't say this in front of Adrian," He started slowly, "But you should know." I nodded.

"Amy is going to be a pain for the next few weeks." I turned to stare at him. What? That didn't even make sense! Is he saying that my wife being upset over her dead child is a pain?

"What?" I ask out loud

"Amy. She's going to eat a lot. And Cry a lot. And talk about the baby a lot. It's going to get annoying. Don't do what I did. Don't leave Amy just 'cause she gets depressed." I just gaped. Did he seriously think that I would leave Amy because she was grieving? Hell no.

"And just remember that you have to be there no matter how much of a Bitch Amy is—" I punched him. Hard. He fell to the ground.

"What the Hell Ricky?" He shouted

"No one calls my Amy a bitch." I growled, and left. Ben tried to follow me, but I didn't want to even look at him anymore. So much for friends. I hoped things were going well with Amy. I had to drive. I jumped in my car and drove to the nearest shore. It was very late and no one was there. I turned my phone off, not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment.

The beach wasn't as calm as I thought it would be. The crashing waves actually frustrated me more. The sand was getting in my eyes and stuck between my nails. The salt from the water stung my eyes, or maybe those were tears. I didn't care. Aggravated, I threw a stone in the water as hard and as fast as I could manage, it felt good. So, I threw another. And another. Then I picked up a bigger rock that crashed into the water with a large 'kerplunk!' I stood there forever, throwing stones and rocks and pebbles and shells and really, anything I could find. I didn't think, just threw. It was better than thinking. Thinking gave me room to depress myself. It had gotten severely cold and I was in a tee-shirt I'd slept in and sweats. Instead of stopping, I continued to wear myself out further. My breathing became heavy and my vision blurred but my arm never stopped its continuous motion. I didn't want to stop. I threw the things to get my anger and sadness out. Mostly my anger, I wasn't sad anymore, no, I was just plain furious.

Who the hell is god? And why does he do this? The whole 'she's in a better place' thing is crap. Just crap. I don't believe a word of it. I used to, but not anymore. I don't think god would kill babies who never even opened their eyes yet.

As if I wasn't exhausted enough, I started to yell through my haze. I screamed. But I'm not really sure what exactly I was screaming. I don't think it was even words. The yelling hurt my raw throat and I kneeled down in the sand, over worked and clearly weak. That was when I blacked out. I'm pretty sure I vomited, too.

When I woke up, though, I did not feel any better. My body was sore from my tantrum of rock-throwing and my throat stung from the shouting. I had a massive migraine and my stomach ached. It was early morning, and I realized that it was early morning… dawn was just breaking over the horizon. Despite my horrid conditions, I sat up with a groan. How long was I out? It had to be at least four a.m. I did the math in my head, but I couldn't think straight. I took deep breaths as I stood up to examine myself. I had cuts and splinters on my hands, and the rest of me wasn't in the best shape either.

I slowly made my way to the car. That's when it hit me: Amy. I hadn't been thinking clearly when I rushed out last night, I wasn't thinking at all. I probably made things ten times worse for her, leaving like that. Ben probably went back inside with the girls and told them something horrible about me behind my back. What if Amy thought I'd left her? Or cheated on her? My god. I'm such an Idiot! I checked my phone- 28 new messages.


	3. Chain Reaction

_**Heyy! Thanks for all the reviews! This chapter Ben will be nicer… Sorry for the last chapter, all of you Ben Fans He was a bit OOC in chapter 2. But I really don't like him… Now, Please read!**_

_**Amy**_

Where was he? He had never done this before. Adrian had offered to stay, she was rarely nice to me, but it was hardly a competition anymore. We had spent the night talking and for a while, I'd almost forgotten of the horrible events going on around us. However, when Ben and Ricky didn't come back from their 'talk' I got worried. When Ben finally showed up, Ricky was nowhere to be seen. Ben explained that when Ricky tried to give him advice, He had punched him and knocked him out in the hallway outside. I wouldn't have believed it except the fact that he had a bruise about the size of a fist just under his eye. It didn't sound like Ricky at all.

We waited for hours for him to come back, but he never showed. I called him, texted him, emailed him and IM-ed him, with no reply. I debated whether or not to call Nora, but decided against it, not wanting to explain anything to her. I was panicking. He wouldn't leave, not now. I knew he wouldn't. But I couldn't help but think about his past. He used to sleep around when things got bad… Were things bad enough that he would do that to me? To our family? No. I knew he'd never. But then where was he? Did something happen? What if he was in a car accident or something? My mind raced at all of the possibilities. At around three am, I asked Adrian and Ben to go home. I needed to be alone… No, I needed to be with my fiancé but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

So Here I was, at four am, sitting on the edge of my bed, crying for the thousandth time. I heard a loud thump from just outside the door. I jumped, petrified. It opens and in stumbles Ricky. He looked horrible. He looks like he's about to pass out. His arms were scratched and his face was pale. There were large bags under his bloodshot eyes. I led him to the couch, severely worried. Apparently I was right about accident. He tried to resist my help, insisting that he's fine. He sat down, fighting whatever pain he must be in. I wonder how much energy it took him to come home. We sat in silence until the color slowly returns to his face and his breathing regulates.

"What happened?" I finally squeak out.

"It's nothing. I'm fine, just really tired." He lied

"Don't you dare lie to me." My voice cracks.

"I was angry, so I went to the beach to cool off." He stated blandly.

"And?" I prompted

"And I ended up hurting myself."

"I can see." I laughed without humor.

"How did you hurt yourself?" I ask

"Throwing stuff." He says as if it were obvious.

"Why?" I ask

"I told you, I was angry," He says obviously again.

"I was worried you know."

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"Did you read the messages I sent?"

"No, I was too focused on getting home… I can't believe I fell asleep at the beach."

"You didn't. I'm telling you Ricky, you can't lie."

"You're right, I didn't fall asleep. I guess passed out cold is the right term." I don't say anything. I'm upset. He sighs, and kisses my hand from where He's lying.

"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry." He cries " I was just so upset. I had to take it out on something!" For a moment, I just want to kiss him. So I do. We kiss for a very long time, but something is off. I kiss him some more. His lips. It's his lips. They're too warm. I pull away and get up, searching for what I need.

"What are you doing?" he asks, confused.

"Looking for something…"

"What something?"

"This," I say, pulling the little-used thermometer out of the cabinet. It's a miracle we even had one in this house.

"Oh, no." He says, looking at the tiny instrument, "There is no way in hell that I'm putting that in my mouth!"

"C'mon, please?" I beg, looking at him with big eyes. Ricky hated thermometers, medicine, and anything medical or doctor related.

"No."

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"How about no way?" I look down; ready to play the sympathy card.

"I just want you to get better," I say in a light, almost teary voice, "I-I just want for you to be healthy." I start with the fake tears "We've had a h-hard w-week and and I" Whoops. That was the wrong thing to say, because now I really am crying, I can picture my baby girl… an image I've been trying so hard to block out of my mind. I collapse beside him in tears. He's trying to calm me down, and by the tone of his voice, I can tell he feels guilty for making me cry which makes me feel guilty for even trying to make him feel guilty and my guiltiness was the cause of his guiltiness which made me even guiltier. Wow, even my thoughts don't make sense anymore.

I swallowed my sorrow and looked up to meet his face. Chagrin was written all over it, making me feel even guiltier. He sighed and pursed his lips.

"Fine, if it makes you feel any better, I'll use it." He surrendered.

"You don't have to," I sniffed, still feeling guilt-ridden.

"I want to." He insists

He snatched the thing from my hand and popped it into his mouth, making a face as the metal tip reached his tongue. As we waited for the thing to beep, I frequently had to chastise him about keeping in his mouth and not wiggling it around in his mouth and keeping it under his tongue. Finally, the buzzer went off and he practically spit it out of his mouth. I read the bar… 102.6

I frowned at the numbers. That was fairly high… How could I not have felt the fever sooner? I clicked my tongue in disgust.

"That bad?" He guessed

"Well…"

"Oh no… here we go."

"I think we might have to go to the doctors…" I started to say, but the sentence wasn't even out of my mouth yet when his reply came.

"No! No doctors!"

"Ricky," I sighed, "Please?"

"Oh don't start! I can't handle more tears!" he exclaimed.

"Then give in before they come," I challenged

"Amy…" He sighed, uneasy.

"Come on! For me?"

"ehhh…"

"The longer you take to get better the longer you can't kiss me!" I teased, halfheartedly, because I was still in a mood from my crying spell and worry.

"You already kissed me." He pointed out

"Before I knew you were sick."

"Still… I bet you'd do it again. If I needed you to." He muttered

"Yeah, I want your kisses more than you want mine."

"All I want is for you to be fulfilled and happy."

"Then go to the doctors, if you _really_ want me to be happy." I had him won.

He sighed, picked up his jacket and started to get up. We slowly, because of his sickening state, made our way to the door. When we opened it, however, there was someone there…

_**Ricky**_

"No," I growled "No. No. _No. _No!" I understood I was over reacting, but he had to leave. Now.

"Get out." I muttered to him darkly.

"Ricky, Calm down," Amy murmured, "It's not a big deal."

"You don't know what he said about you."

"You told me," She did know, but I'd bet a thousand dollars that if someone said things like that about me, she would snap and probably be even more upset than I was now.

"Ben, you really need to leave," Amy sighed

"No! I just— I wanted to apologize." He stated calmly, I however, was not so calm.

"Well we don't forgive you. Excuse us; we were just on our way." I grumbled trying to push through him. Unfortunately, in my weakened state, I wasn't able to make it out the door.

"I'm not leaving until you accept my apology." He ordered. I snorted.

"Good luck. " Amy snorted too. She knew me well, and I was stubborn. There was no way in hell I was forgiving the kid. I'd been standing too long, I realized, and the room was starting to spin at odd angles. Maybe we really should be getting to the hospital…

"Ricky?" Amy asked worriedly, "Are you okay? Ricky?" She led me over to the couch. I really did feel horrible. I looked up at the confused visitor.

"Please leave." Amy said softly to him, "It's really not a good time."

"Is he okay?" Ben asked, as if I wasn't even there.

"I'm fine," I spat "But please, leave!" he stayed there.

"Ben, I'm sorry but if you don't leave, I'll have to call the police."

"You can't do that!" Ben yelled at Amy who had just threatened to call the cops on him.

"I can and I will. You could be brought in for trespassing and harassment." Wow. Go Amy. Maybe her college class in law was pretty useful…

"Ugh." Ben groaned before leaving the apartment. We both knew she was bluffing, but it was best not to upset her. Especially after that night… I shivered at the memory of our daughter. Mia floated around my mind like a ghost, haunting me and scaring the hell out of me when I least expected it. Amy noticed my sudden discomfort, but passed it off as my illness, not sadness.

"Come on," She sighed, "Let's get to the hospital."

I nodded yes, getting up from the couch. We walked to the car rather slowly, in silence. Silence seemed to haunt me too. Bringing up unpleasant memories. It was just as quiet on the car ride there. When we pulled up, however, Amy let out a whimper. I immediately knew the source of her distress. We hadn't been here for two whole days. But two days wasn't very long. I silently cursed myself for needing medical attention.

"Amy, c'mon, let's go home. I'm fine, really." Memories were flooding in our minds, reminding us of our loss. This medical building was important. This was where I came to the first ultrasound. I didn't go to john's and Mia's was my first. It was where we found out the sex of our baby. It was where we heard her heartbeat through the machine. I remembered sitting in the waiting-room, looking through a book of baby names. This was where we named her. This was where she was born . And where she died. We weren't ready to visit this place. The place where we learned to accept the worst news of our lives. We had to go home. Now.

"I-I'm fine! Just… Just go, I'll be out in a second."

"Oh, Amy. I'm fine, I swear. We can stop at the store and get some medicine there. I'm sure it's nothing." I insisted

"No. I have to learn that I can't burst into tears every time I see a hospital." She sniffed,.

"We lost our baby two days ago, Amy. It's okay to cry about it."

"I'm sick of crying."

"Then let's get out of here so you don't have to.

_**Thanks so so so much to all of my reviewers… I love you guys! You're the ones that keep me writing! Sorry for the short-ness but if you review, the next one will be longer! To find out what happens next…Read the next chapter! And I'll update faster depending on the number of reviews I get *Hint Hint* I decided to throw in a little Ramy… I hope that the fluffiness of this chapter lightened the mood slightly… I hate writing this depressing stuff but I like it when it's finished so I write it any ways!**_


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